On God (And Other Assholes)

I believe.

But if you ask most of the people I know who also believe, they’d say I’m a heretic. A blasphemer. Hellbound. And if they're right, I'm good with that outcome, because the kind of God those people are "following" (out of respect, we'll call it that) is not the God I know.

Let's start off with a "gotcha" question I hear from what I refer to as "militant atheists." It goes something like: "Can God create something too heavy for God to move?"

Cute. But also, irrelevant. It assumes God plays by our rules.

It's a trap, see, because if God CAN'T create something too heavy for God to move, He can't be God. (I trust God will forgive me for referring to God as "him", it's just easier to write that way.) Now if God CAN create something too heavy for God to move, then once again God is not omnipotent. It's a catch-22 that you can't win.

But the answer is blindingly simple, and it's something that believers and non-believers get wrong together, all the time.

Try this on for size: Yes, God can create something too heavy for God to move... then, being God, He can move it anyway! When we try to put God in a box, we break God. The definition of omnipotent is there are no rules.

Now... I'm gonna tell you (and lose half of you right here): God is an asshole!

I know, because He made me in His image according to the Bible, and if I didn't just prove that I'm one, you haven't been reading what I'm writing. But that's my TED talk for today, because... I am god. Not THE God, but "A God." (Psalm 82:6, John 10:34) And if you're still with me, I'll break it down for you. Because if I’m a god, and He made me this way, then maybe calling Him an asshole is just honesty.

God made man (yeah, and women) in "His" image. That tells me that I am an image of God, and an image of God is not NOT God! Then we move on to the bit where God told us that when two or more gather in His name, He’s present. (Matthew 18:20) We’re told what we bind on Earth will be bound in Heaven. (Matthew 18:18)
So... I'm a god.

And if that wasn't spicy enough for you, remember I'm likely going to hell (according to everyone I know who loves the Bible). But let's say I slip by undetected despite my blasphemies. Here's the hard part about Heaven:
If I am promised joy in Heaven, but someone I love is burning in Hell, what kind of joy is that? And what kind of God makes that bargain?

Now most of the devout folks I know will argue that somehow I won't care, or that God will take that burden from me. Yeah, no. Not interested. If that's the way it works, I'm out.
That wouldn't be me, that would be some lobotomized zombie. I'd rather take a seat around the fire, thank you very much.

But... maybe it works the other way. If we take God out of that box we put Him in, maybe if I need my brother (insert friend/lover/cellmate/whatever here) in heaven for me to be happy, and the Big Dude promised I'd be happy, then maybe, remember I told you this was gonna be spicy, they can be saved by the grace of this little god, because that’s what little gods do. We make room.
We stretch the grace.

And yes, I know what that implies. If someone loved Hitler? If someone begged for his soul? Maybe he got in.

Uncomfortable?

Yeah. It should be.

So there. I said it. I'm a god. Not THE God, but "A god." And if all of you gods hang out and work on the same project, we can make it happen. There is that rule about doing it in God's name... (here I go again). Oh wait, He didn't say "in God's name." He said "in my name." So all us little gods that are working together have to work toward something we can do in the name of the Big God.

But honestly, there isn't much that doesn't fit in that bucket, short of genocide.

Hmmm. Yeah, that's a thing too.

Remember I said "God is an asshole"? Somewhere on some wall in some wooden building outside of Germany, I'm told (I haven't seen it myself) is a scrawl that reads something close to: "If there is a God, He will have to beg my forgiveness."

That was written by one of God’s chosen. And it echoes Job:

“Though I cry, ‘Violence!’ I get no response.” (Job 19:7) “Even today my complaint is bitter; his hand is heavy in spite of my groaning.” (Job 23:2)

That hits HARD, being written by one of God's chosen.

Now again, there are a lot of people that scream "FREE WILL!" and that we as people didn't try hard enough. Maybe that's true. Maybe if enough of us little gods got our act together, we could have stopped it. But by my measure, that actually happened a LOT. Little gods got together and did little miracles. But there were a lot of little gods who were, in the name of the Big God, also saying "we should stay out" or that Hitler was right or... or... or...

Those little gods' voices we don't like to talk about, but they were there.

My bigger point, though, is that if God were NOT an asshole, He could have made that clear without the loss of 6 million of His chosen people.
We talk a lot about free will. We whisper it like an excuse. Like a shrug. Like divine plausible deniability.

But let’s not pretend God doesn’t interfere when He wants to. Ever hear of a burning bush?

He could've stopped Hitler. He could’ve turned Zyklon B into air. Or bullets into Jello.

Instead? He watched.

Don’t tell me free will tied His hands. He made the rules. And if He can move the unmovable rock, He damn sure could've stopped a bullet.

Here's your example: A drive-by shooter puts a bullet through a wall and into the crib, then into the head of an infant in that crib. You can scream "free will" till your lungs bleed, but GOD could have let that bullet fly, then turned it into Jello before it hit that wall. No chains on free will. A God who could’ve intervened but didn’t. Not because He couldn’t. But because, maybe, He left the job to us.

Because we are supposed to be the ones turning bullets to Jello. That’s the god job.

THAT... is a God.

God is an asshole, God could have let Hitler do what Hitler did and at the same time not let a single person die as a result. God could let the shooter pull the trigger, let him feel whatever twisted satisfaction or rage or desperation drove him to it, and STILL save the baby. Because that's how GODS work.

I've had these conversations with my God. I won't ever understand why He's not the God I think He should be. At least not on this side of the dirt. Maybe He's just one of us. "A stranger on the bus." "The very least of our brothers". And maybe He's not (yet) a big enough God, there aren't enough of us gathered in His name to be that God yet.

I know someone who's going down the right-wing rabbit hole. Someone who's twisting theology, claiming hate is God's way. (Spoiler alert: it ain't.) One of God's chosen, devout, but now leaning more on the fire and brimstone than the salvation. And I'm watching what it's doing to the people who love them.

This person was there for me when others turned their backs. And now I'm watching them forget the greatest commandment: love each other. (John 13:34) Not a suggestion. Not a tweet. A commandment. “Love one another as I have loved you.” That’s the 11th. But it’s my First. The greatest commandment isn't a Hallmark card; it's the load-bearing wall. Lean on John 13:34 like a crutch: "As I have loved you." Not "as long as they agree with you" or "until they vote wrong." It's the command that turns religious cosplay into the real deal.

But to the God who breathed asshole-tendencies into dust and called it good? Nah. That's not heresy; that's family resemblance. The one who shows up in the least of these (Matthew 25:40) isn't shocked by my swing, my guess is he's probably nodding along, waiting for the rest of us little gods to grab the bat.
Questioning the setup, demanding better, refusing to let go?
That's not rebellion; that's the image kicking in. It's the "very least" reaching back.

Because if we're all little gods, if we really do have that power when we gather together in His name, then watching someone spiral into hate theology, that's not just their failure. That's all of us little gods not being gathered enough, not being loud enough, not being present enough to pull them back from the edge.

Maybe that's what God is waiting for. Maybe that's why the bullet doesn't turn to Jello. Not because God is cruel, but because God gave us the job. We're the ones who are supposed to turn the bullets to Jello. We're the ones who are supposed to gather together and be big enough gods to stop the harm.

And when we don't, when we let people spiral into hate, when we let babies die, when we let 6 million of God's chosen go into the camps... maybe God really is an asshole for giving us this much responsibility. Or maybe we're the assholes for not picking it up.

Isolation is always a death spiral. I've seen it in my family. I've tasted it in myself. I fight it off by being social, by letting "sane" people give me feedback when I'm going off the rails. But when someone isolates into an echo chamber, when they surround themselves only with voices that amplify the worst parts of themselves... that's when the little gods lose the power to help.

So what can we do? Not let go until we can't hold on anymore. That's all we can do. Maybe if we catch it soon enough, maybe if enough of us gather, family, friends, people who remember who they were before the spiral, maybe we can be a big enough god to turn their hate-bullets to Jello before they destroy everything.

Maybe. If God decides not to be an asshole this one time.

And I think that's the real truth. Maybe we all make our own heaven, and... our own hell (Luke 17:21), here. And that salvation by grace? That's the job of each of us little gods, to reach out and save anyone we can save.

I heard a Christian comedian once say: “When I get raptured, I ain't going alone. I'm grabbing a few sinners on the way up.”

That? That’s godhood.

Not the God who watches. But the one who reaches.

Not the Big God sitting back and watching to see who passes the test. But the little gods refusing to let go. Refusing to leave anyone behind. Refusing to accept that anyone "deserves" hell when we have the power, collectively, when we gather, to pull them out of it.

That's what it means to be made in God's image. Not that we look like Him. Not that we think like Him. But that we have the same job: reaching out when someone's falling. Turning bullets to Jello. Gathering together until we're big enough gods to save each other.

And if that's blasphemy, if that gets me sent south,
I’ll go down swinging. Trying to pull somebody else up.

Because that’s what I think it means to be made in His image:

here are your notes:

Hell is isolation (which we create ourselves or allow others to create)
Heaven is the gathered community (which we create together)
God's "job" is actually our job (because we ARE gods, plural, collective)
Salvation isn't about belief or worthiness, it's about refusing to let go of each other
You are gods" (Psalm 82:6, quoted by Jesus)
Whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven" (Matthew 18:18)
Where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them" (Matthew 18:20)
The greatest commandment is love (Matthew 22:36-40)
Whatever you did for the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me" (Matthew 25:40)

So is it blasphemy? To fundamentalists who think God is fragile and needs defending? Sure.

To the God I actually believe in, the one who made me in His image, asshole tendencies and all? I don't think so. The God who lets babies get shot isn't going to clutch His pearls because I pointed it out.